About Me

London, United Kingdom
Im just the bartender here....I serve you the Long Island tea, the olives and listen to you.....then I blog...neat isnt it..

Saturday, 8 April 2017

You Should Have Stayed...

Sometimes you want someone to wait a while. Sometimes you actually want things to work out the way you want.
In summation.....
I was doing just fine before I met you......

I would have asked you to stay
But I knew you couldn't
So I watched you go away.

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

I am Not My Hair - Indie Arie

Beauty, they say is in the eyes of the beholder.

Im one bias SOB. Yup, I said it. Maybe you are your hair but since then I've met you your personality has done some work in changing me. Imagine the first few words, the helping hand so you wont trip over your heels on the ramp, the conversation about your friend going manic over a chap that's gone walkies, the ...... the conversation.

It lasted all of 5 minutes but Id made the move, Id overcome my fears, Id spoken to you. Late that night, the DM was silently plain but full of every hint of "we are going to......speak sometime soon?"

I love this new age of "I can find you, I can get to you" and you can decide if its mutual scenario. That's when it becomes a L'Oreal advert, you get to stage 2 "Because you're worth it" (Subtle reference to Whitney Houston's - Worth it hehehe)

I'm spoilt. I'm spoilt for attention, for well traveled, well cultured company. I'm eager for conversation about the deli near Central Park, the carrot cake at Starbucks, the frappa to go, the blanket in the park laid back

Apparently I've been spoilt for you for a minute.....

How long has it been you ask? Its been a minute......

Friday, 30 May 2014


I wrote this for a friend who has another blog, her story had a character who I sort of took an interest in and I told her to create a side story. She however took another twist to it. In her story, hes gone...in my mind he lives.
Enjoy people

You don’t know me, you can’t understand my story. It’s hard to take when you have been
taken for a "Maga" or "Lagos JJC" as it may seem.
I loved Lara. She knew I loved her, she was the perfect fit Lara Phillips all 5ft 9inches of chocolate perfection. Full lips, full hips and oh those other "assets".
There are women and there are women and she is one damn woman. Yes I’m a "Lagos boy" you’ll see me where ever the boys throw down, from 100 hours to
Rhapsody to Soul Lounge hey what’s a man to do? Moving back to Lagos was a charm in itself but meeting Lara while walking out of the airport was me in my most powerful state. Hand luggage and her cousin in tow how could she not look? I’d made her cousin coo and do unspeakable things on the plane now we were on ground I’d seen another. This other I had to have! Lara was behind the cord as usual with MMA she had to wait for her people to get through before she could walk up to them. As we walked out I saw her immediately, I saw her look towards me not realizing she was waiting for her cousin Shade. Now don’t get me wrong Shade is alright, head of legal for a multinational and a
figure from the gods but Shade wasn’t Lara. Lara had that "Oomph" factor. She could engage you to the end of the earth, if there was someone you wanted to be stuck on a deserted island with, it was her. But remember I told you, I’m a Lagos Boy.
Once out of the airport Shade became 2nd fiddle for my attentions Lara was Nefertiti, she was Queen to this, she owned this! Lucky for me Shade in her haste to return had forgotten to get her sim back into her phone and had to call from mine! How lucky can one man be!

Once we had parted I just saved the number. There was no WhatsApp or BBM then so there was no way to do this in a subtle manner. I waited, it was hard it was difficult but I waited. Waiting was difficult, my loins ached, the hands of Shade on them in the plane was one thing, the thought of Lara was another made the call 3 days later after being accused by everyone around me of being in a trance. I had it mapped out and planned to perfection. Shade had called me a tonne of times, sent texts etc. I deliberately ignored then on Thursday I called Lara. The excuse was simple, I was trying to get a hold of Shade but didn’t have a number (ignore all the calls and text just keep a straight tone Dede, nothing spoil). My charm offensive was awesome, we spoke for about 20mins, asking how her day was, heard some noise in the background she told me she was on Karimu Kotun trying to get something to eat and that sealed the deal. I was at Eko hotel I summoned her immediately, come round there’s a feast waiting. That was the day I knew Lara loved food and I would feed her to get anything! And I did.

She was there with me for 4hours. In 4 hours Id gotten from her everything, her life story, her likes and her pet likes and hates. I’d also gotten a promise to see later that weekend....Shade was a faint memory for then, even she didn’t remember her cousin. Besides Shade was a 6hr "event"! A London to Lagos tryst was hardly the stuff dreams are made of!

On Friday evening I picked her up and she melted into the leather in my Aston Martin. I made an excuse of picking up something from the house. Same neighbourhood in Lekki so she came in to see the place. Once inside she couldn’t utter a word. Id modelled the house to be the same as the one I had in LA. 2 storey, looks like a bungalow from outside but is awesome when you walk in. Loads of polished/finished wood and loads of Italian marble and the pool. The pool was made for sex, it was the proverbial panty dropper, she saw it and had to get in. Lara was fun, she was a happy go lucky girl and today she was showing me happy, lucky and fun. It took very little for me to convince her the pool was warm enough for a plunge. First her feet, then her ankles and before we knew it she had slipped into the pool fully clothe! She claimed she slipped, she says me standing so close to her and maybe I slipped, fell and moved her ever so slightly beyond the edge.

That evening, I jumped in to "rescue her", gave her a t-shirt to wear (the most snug one I could find, one of the muscle fit A&F ones....momma didn’t raise no fool) and once she slipped into it, the rest was simple. That night we didn’t go out, we sat in, spoke about everything under the sun. I knew everything about her. I knew what everyman had done to and for her and I knew what she wanted to hear. Women aren’t as complicated as you think, Listen and you’ll find that spot that spoils them. Material things are one thing, attention is everything. Attention to detail, how she likes her eggs, the fact she doesn’t like orange juice, it’s the little things. I made those little things a big difference in the next few days, by the end of the next week she mentioned Shade's name. It took a lot to respond "Shade who?"

Now let’s get back to tonight, you can be the Ex or you can be the next you choose. For nearly a whole year we were the toast of Lagos. I was never associated with any woman publicly (yes there were the rumours, the innuendos etc. heck if Sade Ladipo and the Grapevine were around then I’d have been a daily topic!) Once you become Lara's man by virtue of career you were "marked". I made a meal of it though, I sent her flowers, I sent muffins to her camera and makeup (that got me loads of offers to bed by the powder girls) and I took her out without question. Her catching me in bed with Shade had a story behind it.

Shade was the jealous type, she had to be among, had to have everything had to be in the limelight, missing out pained her. She didn’t realize I had what she called "The Package". She was the type of girl that wanted destination wedding and the works. In me she saw someone who could provide that and my not returning her calls but suddenly appearing beside Lara at functions, she was pained!
Shade showed up while Lara was on air for an unplanned show, by then my timing was known to most in the little circle I kept. Sitting in my living room I lazily walked to the door and there stood Lil Miss Thang. An overcoat in Lagos was a rare thing, nothing under it was even better. She had a cannibalistic approach to getting what she wanted. Before I knew it she pushed me inside and that was it. I was out of my depth and staring at her naked glistering body in seconds. In truth I was horny as f***. Hadn’t seen Lara for a few days and suddenly I was there staring at a body I knew wanted me. I could have suspected it but damn this was booty and I was......

I stripped off her overcoat and dived in for a nipple. In the mirror reflection I could see her mouth turn up into a smile almost saying "success". In a low throaty voice she said the words "Eat me!" I didn’t need a second invitation. I lifted the hood on her bean and flicked it with my tongue. I went at it with so much venom it was like I wanted to give her a lobotomy. They claim black men don’t eat cooch; I ate that one like it had the cure to everything under the sun. By the time I was done with it she'd had a dozen orgasms and I was hard as f***.

I lifted my head from between her legs and kissed her with her own juices on my lips. There’s nothing more exciting than tasting yourself (my Hispanic fuckbuddy told me that, I believe every word of it) that must have been what drove her off the cliff. She lifted and climbed on top of me. I’d never been ridden like that in a long time.

She wasn’t the gentle love making kind like Lara, she was a rodeo girl and she was born to ride.
Have you ever met the girl Apache rapped about in Gangster Bitch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qE9wZS0RX0) well it was Shade! She went in on me like I was made of diamonds. She had this hip movement thing she did and damn I was going to rip her insides with my cum I flipped her over and as I got on top something said look up....

In my sex filled head I saw a shadow, focused for a bit and saw an image, I saw a person....yup. That "Oh Shit" moment came up and let’s just say I didn’t cum. There’s nothing I didn’t do, there’s nothing I didn’t try to do. Lara wouldn’t see me.

Eventually I left town, I came back a few times. I never got involved with any girl publicly neither did I ever get any woman back to my place. Hundreds of flowers, gifts etc. I sort of gave up. Lara made sure I was never able to see her, I tried to make my way to see her but I couldn’t take the rejection.

Over time, over a long time 8 years I sat at the club watching TV and there she was, the volume was low but something was unfolding, the more I looked the more it became obvious. Some little girl was handing Lara, my Lara a ring and her dad was there waiting to be told yes. I jumped into my car and made my way to her studio, passing her car on the way in I decided to follow her. Call it what you want I wasn’t stalking her, on getting to her place and seeing her walk out looking all that....I had to
talk to her, I had to hear her voice again.

'Congratulations'.....The slaps came in thick and fast.

Expect the follow up soon, you can also ready her blog and the full story at http://www.hapygypsy.blogspot.com/2014/04/la-priemiere.html?m=1

Monday, 18 November 2013

Letter to my Ex...

Dear Ibukun

After all that's happened I realized that we had covered it all. The 26 letters just like when we first met. Remember that day? Volunteering in the hospice and everyone went back for a drink, one of the kids had given us the same alphabet card, no words just alphabets A to Z.
We both sat down and with our pints in front of us we made up the craziest words and scenarios from each letter...dare I say that was one interesting evening.
Little did I realise it would be what Id run through when we broke up. The rainy nights alone and the card was in the same place. My card with your initials and phone number, the same orange number you kept forever and a bit. I picked it up, flipped it and the first thing that came to mind was the alphabet game

Z - Z was for Zelda, the name of your cock blocking friend who questioned everything, every detail of my being, why I was this, why I wasn't that. Is she married now? Nope. I told you, shes a lesson on celibacy, I hope she ended up being a nun.
Y - Y is for You, the being who stole my every moment, took everything I believed and turned it into a blurry memory,
X - That's the fake Professor Xavier, the so called avenger who was also analysing you for "skills". Was I angry, nah, why would I be, we weren't exclusive and I knew only too well what it meant when I got into the club and saw you sitting at his table. Moonlighting never was appealing after that!
W -  W had to be for "will power". There are very few things that fazed me after being with you. I'm confident if a UFO fell out of the sky after what I went through with you Id walk by like it was a grasshopper that landed wrong.
V - V was Victoria, your friend who wanted to bait me, she did everything, I mean everything to try get me to capitulate. Its funny how she was so determined to prove to you that I would cheat that she pulled out all the stops. The best has to be when you all crashed over and I felt my clothes being tugged off, how desperate was she to try shag a drunk dude!
U -  U was for unnecessary, that's what all the fights we had (or should I say the fights you instigated were). There were too many and they had no meaningful outcome
T -  T is for Time! Towards the end you became lucid and calm. it was an amazing change for someone who had for 11 months made life grief for me all of a sudden change into a quiet agreeing easy going no stress angel.
S - Obviously S is for the sex. I think we abused the term "Make up Sex" we made up almost daily, we had everything to make up for, every word we exchanged at times seemed to reek of venom, every moan had a tonne of passion.
R - Rejection. The first few times we met, I could have sworn you were enjoying the attention but loving the forlorn look on my face when I got the "never ever ever" responses.
Q -  Quality time.......They were few, they were intense and they had more real feelings to them than anything.
P - Peace...I ask myself sometimes if i really wanted it now? What with all the insanity we had, I think the essence of our relationship was the turmoil.
O - Others....your friends, the one night strays you fondled, the guy at carnival.....shall I go on?
N - Never again.... I said that over 100 times but I still came back! Pussy whipped? Nah.....Was I insane....duh! We did everything under the sun in the space of a few weeks. Sex, drugs and rocking roll was our motto!
M - Miami..my tattoo, your naked swim in the Atlantic, the ship captains face.....priceless! Coconut Grove will never forget us...never!
L- Love they say...is a dangerous game. It has to be when our only cure for fights was paint balling and being in opposite teams so we could vent and shoot at each other...That was great until you got a real gun and tried to shoot me wasn't it!
K - The first kiss. That locking of lips that ruined everything for everyone around us. The NCP carpark I still look with a heavy heart whenever I go past the Trocadero.
J - Jealousy your undoing. Jealousy they say only eats up your beauty. If only you'd had more faith in yourself, your being......sad isn't it.
I - I gave up.....if I didn't maybe just maybe things would be different, maybe that would have led to a lot of things and not the eventual outcome.
H - High......Hi....Bye...*Sigh*
G - Good times. Few and far between in far flung places...from Gutenberg to Gateshead!
F - Fatal blow...Imagine how I felt. Parting ways and two weeks later there's that wait sitting there on Yahoo messenger on your birthday sending a tonne of messages only to be told I shouldn't expect a response by your room mate.
E- Edward he went with you and sadly....he died with you. Adventure was always his undoing.
D- Death....sad word, sad outcome to life, incredible how it takes everything away in just one moment
C - Cars.....I told you...I hate to say it but I told you! Its one thing to drive on the M1 and get a speeding ticket but car crashes in California don't always end well......High on crystal meth driving or should I say flying through intersections. Onto and over the bridge. Sometimes we have very little to hold onto its that which is left that makes us cling to drugs when we are weak.
B - Brief, our moments were brief, our time was short. Our passion was strong, our pain went deep...I still cry over your absence, I miss your insanity. I wonder what would have happened if we hadn't broken up. Maybe you'd have stayed and we'd have been at Glasto instead of you running away with Ed to move me out of your mind.
A - Amazing how we made our own dent in history. We did the most awesome things, had the most amazing time and spent our days living it up and our nights in each others arms.

I never thought Id love someone who would leave this earth before me. I never thought of all people you'd die. You were larger than life, you were life!
Love they say never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its sources. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds, it dies of weariness of witherings of tarnishing and of cars falling off bridges. The difference in this story of us is captured by JK Rowling; "To the well organised mind death is but the next adventure". Ill see you when I get there Buks..

Friday, 1 November 2013

I Can't Make You Love Me......

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close
Don't patronize
Don't patronize

Its February and we now have a date, we have our "its over"date. The reality of December till now could kill me just thinking about it.

I'll close my eyes
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me
Mornin' will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

I dont know how to give up, its always been my failing. How do you walk away from a friend, how do you not want air...

'Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Somethin it won't
Here in the dark
In these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And feel the power if you want
No you won't

Haven't seen you in a New York minute have I......

Secret Garden

Quincy Jones & Barry White - The Secret Garden... by sagelion13

Its obvious isn't it, the words of secret garden say it all...I mean what can I say that the likes of Barry, Al, Chico, and James haven't said already. If I wanted to say it in any other form (Dirty)  Id probably get a track like Call me (Lil Kim and Too Short) to translate in 'errm more ways than one..(grin)

Because tonight I want you
To learn all about the
Secrets in your garden

*Dirty and romantic and awesome all in one verse* who does that

Tonight I want to lean in, I want to taste the lips I've watched move for so long, I want the words you say to fade away and the mouth to only move to my rhythm. The only thing we wont do is stop, time has already stood still for too long. The only thing we need is time, enough time to explore.

Music like this makes me ask what happened to real music. A few days a go I was going on and on with @MrEnclave about old time music from the days of Cadillac Records and Motown and I realized the one near modern track that tells it all was Secret Garden. It defines everything good about music....everything good about wanting...This was and still is the ultimate transform her into mush music. This was real!

Now for me to find that James D-Train Williams track....This soul could do with some company!
Ill pour myself the vodka

Friday, 11 October 2013


So that's how it is, it never goes the way you planned. This 'fest never goes like the tv and movies say it would. It starts like suspense, then there's a little moment when you get all the soul flowing only to find out you've been living in Lah Lah Land.

There's a point it starts making sense, its at that point that it really makes no sense at all. You're not Jammie Fox, dude you ain't even got a record deal. all you've got is a wing and a prayer (nigga seriously you ain't even got that considering all! You're just you; a confused side bar looking like a lean version of Chris Tucker on a bad date.

It always hits you hard doesn't it. Well when all is said and done its just you in this. Question everyone is asking right now is what is this? Dude what the fuck is this!

This is the point when you're ripped to shreds, the point where it all goes into a cauldron and you can't even get ahead because of what you might leave behind. You never know how much you're bound by certain things that hold onto you. You know our human compassion binds us from one to the other. It also holds us prisoner to those who in one brief moment get to know us way more than we realize can be possible.

This is confusion and pain all in one mix of massive emotions. Insanity 101 and this ain't the exercise part but if you're susceptible it will make you lose weight!

Whats all this about? Wish I could tell you.......